2024 Q2 - Blooming like a flower? In Spring? GROUNDBREAKING.
4-6 min. read / 6 min. listen
Growth is usually uncomfortable…
…But not always painful. I’ve grown a lot this spring quarter — much of it feeling more like an invitation to stretch than an obstacle to overcome.
I was honored with the Lambda Literary Publishing Professionals Award this June — a wonderful way to celebrate both Pride Month and Audiobook Month! — which made me feel affirmed and grateful. It also challenged me to think more concretely about what it is I’m actually …doing. And why.
For me, being an artist is like being Queer — it’s who I am. Before I had the language to articulate precisely what that meant for me, I made sense of myself and the world through art. And by extension, art as my profession has also been largely unconscious; I take for granted that it is simply …what I do.
So I was terrified by the idea of an acceptance speech, and when invited to deliver one, I resisted. Receiving this award had me thinking, “why me of all people?” And after confronting my resistance as imposter syndrome, the writing of an acceptance speech gradually transformed into a meditation about how “why me” was an opportunity for me to grow.
Like the petals of a flower slowly unfurling, as I wrote, re-wrote, and re-wrote again, I came to acknowledge the fortuitous timing of some other invitations for growth. Namely, mentoring fellow narrators and stepping into audiobook directing. Although the seeds for these activities had been planted a while ago, the invitation to bloom came all at once this spring. The award, this formalized acknowledgement of the work I’ve been doing, was the culmination of a pattern I’d not been consciously aware of. It brought the unconscious into consciousness. And it nourished the seeds of growth planted previously to help me expand, embrace, and enhance the scope of my work.
This blooming has given me greater clarity in why I do what I do as an artist — in particular as an actor. I believe actors are emotional leaders. And what I needed as a kid (and what the world needs now) are emotional leaders. I realize now that I became an actor to be what my younger self needed: evidence that Queer and Trans joy exists. That Queer and Trans joy are possible. So, as a steward of stories, I’m excited to be growing in my artistic work not just as an actor and narrator, but as a mentor to other narrators and as a director of audiobooks.
Maybe blooming in spring doesn’t have to be groundbreaking. Maybe it’s an invitation to reflect and to celebrate the ways we are already breaking ground.
And now it’s time for the breakdown. Q2 in review:
🎧 Audiobooks 🎧
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Awards / Features:
WALKING PRACTICE reviewed & featured in AudioFile Magazine
Lambda Literary Publishing Professionals Award
Spotify interview with FOR THE RECORD
Releases:
Recorded/Recording:
Phantasmagorical roman á clef
Queer horror
Philosophical sci-fi
YA Horror Short Story Collection
Trans coming of age novel
Trans Nonfic
Directing:
Tender Queer paranormal romance
🎬 Film & TV 🎬
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worked on a short film
🎙 Voiceover 🎙
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dubbing!
Thanks for spending time with me and sharing my celebrations again this quarter! Much love!
🖤🤎❤🧡💛💚💙💜 { progress rainbow heart emojis }
Cheers!
Nicky
2024 archive: Q1
